So You're With Her
by Diana A Falcon
Summary: A song fic in which Envy reflects on what happened when his chibi left him for another...and the reason I hate WinryxEd fics.


**Title:** You're with her, and not with me

**Author:** Diana A. Falcon

**Type:** Full Metal Alchemist; Angst

**Rating:** T

**Pairings:** EdxWinry, EdxEnvy

**Beta'd by:** Rima-Wrath

**Summary:** A song fic in which Envy reflects on what happened when his chibi left him for another.

**Disclaimer:** _Diana:_ All right this is my first song fic so everyone please try to be gentle with reviews, please! I wrote this sometime over winter break I think, and I was being incredibly depressed. This is also to hopefully pacifiy anyone who's actualy waiting for me to update 'A Sin In Girls Clothing'. >. Forgive me for writer block is an evil thing. This fic is my explanation of why I reject the idea of Ed and Winry getting together…ever! I think he and Envy make a much better couple. I do not own Full Metal Alchemist nor do I own the song 'Don't Think Of Me", for that belongs to Dido. Oh yeah this fic is in Envy's POV, just incase you couldn't figure it out.

You're With Her, And Not With Me 

I still don't understand. It's been what…three weeks? Three weeks since I've seen your face, that bright golden face that lit up my heart. Weather you choose to believe it or not, chibi-san, yes, I do have a heart. I don't understand, I really don't. What did I do to you? I showed you nothing but affection these past few months. I don't understand….

_So you're with her_

_And not with me._

_I heard she's sweet _

_And so pretty._

_I hear she cooks _

_Delightfully._

_A little angel,_

Beside you.

You left me for her. That blonde haired auto-mail twit. Why? What compelled you to do such a thing? Why, why did you just up and leave me? Do I disgust you? Is it because of what I am? Do you hate me for keeping you away from Mustang? I only did it to protect you chibi. I didn't want him to take you from what we had…from me. It was for your own good! I wanted you to be happy with me and now you run off with her. I can't wrap my mind, however tainted it may be, around it. Why Edward? Why?

_So you're with her_

_And not with me_

_Oh how lucky_

_One man can be_

_I hear your house _

_Is small and clean_

_Oh how happy _

_With your homecoming queen_

_Oh how lovely _

_It must be_

I followed you, Ed. After you left. I knew there had to be more of an explanation to why you left. It was so sudden…or maybe you had been trying to break out of this relationship for a long time. I don't know. But I know you loved what we did. You can't hide that, my little chibi. You can't say that all of those nights meant nothing to you. So I followed you, I followed you to the train station and saw her get off the train. I couldn't believe it when you kissed her. Neither could she apparently, judging by the look of shock I saw on her face. How could you leave me for her? How Edward?

_When you see her sweet smile baby_

_Don't think of me_

_When she lays in your warm arms _

_Don't think of me_

So you've replaced me. You've found someone better, someone you can be out in public with. Were you ashamed Ed? Ashamed of your lover and who he really was? Were you that afraid that someone would find out about us? Was it really that bad? Were you really that disgusted by me? By us? You know we could have brought it out, but you chose to keep it secret. Was it because you were ashamed? Afraid, of what your little brother might think? What about me chibi? Did you ever realize that the others would have tried to kill me as soon as they found out? But I was willing to sacrifice that life so I could start a new one with you. Why can't you see that?

_And it's too late_

_And it's too bad_

_Don't think of me_

I followed you back to Resembool. I was there for the wedding. It should have been our wedding. How many times did we talk together about getting married? How many nights did I tell you that I wanted to make you my husband? You looked stunning in that tux. You looked so happy, standing there at the end of the aisle. I wanted to kill her as she strode down, all adorned in white. I wanted to see her bleed, to stain that white dress with blood. But then I saw you, smiling, and I hated myself for your happiness. I was envious. I know, I know. That was the main thing that always bothered you about me. But that smile…I hadn't seen that smile in so long. I wanted you to smile like that for me. Not some cocky smirk, not some seductive smile, but a real smile, that carried no worries, no taint on it, only love. I looked for a flicker of doubt in your smile, but there was none. I wanted that flicker, that uncertainty that would have been her death sentence. Some sign of guilt, a sign of a lie. But no, you were so happy. I ran out. You might have seen me…I'm not sure. I didn't look back. I couldn't see your face again. No that would be too hard. My heart had frozen over again, harder than when I first died. I would never let anyone be close to me again. You had hurt me so badly and I hate pain.

_Does it bother you now_

_All the mess I've made?_

_Does it bother you now_

_The clothes you told me not to wear?_

_Does it bother you now _

_All the angry games we play?_

_Does it bother you now_

_When I'm not there?_

I killed so many after that; I couldn't count the piles of bodies I had heaped. Killing was the only thing that made me feel any emotion. I was happy, gleeful almost, when I killed. Other than that all I was, was an empty shell. My clothes were constantly bloodstained and I took no measures to change my appearance. You saw me once. I know, because I saw you. It was right after I had burnt that village. You saw me, and you were terrified. I saw that look and it gave me cold satisfaction. Are you happy now Edward? This is what you have made. You have made me into a monster, do you realize that, Ed? Is this what you wanted? Is it? This is your fault Ed. Every person that I have killed, was your fault. Every son, brother, daughter, sister, and mother that I have slaughtered…their blood is on your hands. How does that make you feel chibi? Do you regret it now? Do you regret that you chose her, over me?

_And it's too late_

_And it's too bad_

_Don't think of me…_

_End_

_Diana:_ Ok well that's it. I have an idea for a couple of sequals/companion stories. If you guys hate this I won't post them. Please post any suggestions or constructive criticism. Thank you for reading and please review!


End file.
